Recently my blogs have all been positive and generally our life is – but the last week has thrown up that 9 still has severe issues due to her early trauma.
Without going into details 9 wasn’t treated fairly for the first few years of her life and now she is completely preoccupied with getting ‘exactly the sam’e as everyone else.
It is completely frustrating at times.
Last week was 7’s birthday while we were on holiday and she acted as though it was completely unfair that 7 got a number of presents while she only received a few (some members of our family always buy a present for the other sibling as an ‘unbirthday’ present – something that started 30 odd years ago when my sister was born). Then she kicked off because I wouldn’t buy her a 9 candle to blow out when 7 obviously had one in her cake. I wouldn’t mind, but when it comes to 9’s birthday it is all about her and equality flies out through the window.
Today at Cadbury World she had her pick of anything from the gift shop. She chose a pencil and a fidget spinner. My husband picked up a bag of Wine Gums for himself and she instantly shouted ‘Are you going to share them with me and 7?’ in quite an aggressive manner. There was no concept that she had what she wanted and her dad was allowed to have something for himself.
We also had to constantly speak to her during the day for trying to take over. We have had 7’s friend with us all day and 9 is either mothering her or trying to monopolise her. We are yet to have a friend of 9’s over, partly because she goes so over the top, but also because she hasn’t got a best friend. She tries to be friends with everybody and often resorts to trying to buy friendship. She can be playing with one friend one minute and then dump them immediately if it looks like someone else is having more fun.
I try my hardest to treat both girls the same, but I think it has now come to extremes in that 9 just copies her younger sister. She can’t do anything independently or different to 7 because she feels she is missing out on something.
I’m not sure that this will ever change…..