Out of all of us 11 has struggled the most with lockdown. Academically she has become stronger working on the basics at home, but not being able to socialise and shake off all of her energy her behaviour has become a little wearing. Don’t get me wrong, she’s not really naughty, just has to be constantly supervised as she will get away whenever she can when your back is turned and can’t seem to remember instructions from one minute to the other. This means someone has to be around her all of the time and so we aren’t able to switch off at all.
Both she, and us, are fed up of being told off and although we try and pick our battles patience wears very thin at times. Over the last week or so she has been particularly hard work and she has developed a feeling of being naughty (that we are trying hard to dissipate) and has implied that if she were elsewhere (with her previous foster carers or other family members) she wouldn’t be ‘told off’ as much. We’ve tried to explain this is not the case, but as is necessary for 11 she has to experience it to understand it.
So, yesterday we were off to the old foster carers for the day. As expected she kicked off in the morning and rather than tell her off I gave her an option. She could stay at home or we could go, but I would let them know about her behaviour. I wanted her to know that when her behaviour was dealt with it was forgotten and not held against her, so I was praying she chose option 2 – which she did eventually.
It’s important to say we had a brilliant day, just what the doctor ordered, but 11 did try and get away with what she gets told off for at home. Not surprisingly she was also reprimanded by the foster carers for bad table manners etc and she soon realised that the grass wasn’t greener on the other side.
When it was time to go, both girls got in the car happily after saying their goodbyes and when we got home I had a spontaneous hug from 11, which I haven’t had in weeks! Turns out I’m not so bad after all.
On the plus side, they also said we deserve a medal for being at home with her 24/7 for 16 weeks and so they are going to have them to stay for 5 days in a couple of weeks (just before 8 turns 9 so they can celebrate with her and we can have some ‘us’ time). I’m apprehensive, because it seems a long time to be without them, but planning lots of dog walks and pub lunches with the husband.